On Lonnie Walker, Kyrie Irving, and Hot Takes

Lonnie Walker — philosopher, theoretical physicist, and NBA basketball player — throws his ill-fitting hat in the ring of basketball-playing galaxy-brainers.

The NBA draft was just last week. Lonnie Walker was projected as an early to mid-teens pick but fell to 18, where Greg Popavich and the San Antonio Spurs snagged him. He’s an athletic, talented wing player that seems to fit right into the Spurs system. But it wasn’t anything he did on the court that sparked my interest. During an interview at the NBA draft combine, Lonnie was asked about Kyrie Irving’s flat earth theory and this is what he had to say:

“The earth is definitely an illusion, that’s my conspiracy.”

Now, call me crazy, but having just finished the second season of HBO’s critically acclaimed series West World, I think Lonnie is on to something here. The craziest part of his “conspiracy” isn’t that he thinks we may all be figments of some greater game, an illusion in and of itself, but it’s that scientists from Canada, England, and the US also believe this is a possibility.

Kyrie’s flat earth theory is more of a pipe dream than a substantiated claim. In fact, he is wrong. The earth is not flat. Lonnie, on the other hand, seems more woke. No, the most woke.

Could we all be living our own version of The Man in Black? Is it possible that we are merely self-important holograms occupying a fake reality? While the skeptic in me says this is without a doubt nonsense dreamt up by a 20-year-old kid who smoked too much pot (weed) and stumbled across an article about the earth being a hologram, the basketball fan in me has already purchased his Lonnie Walker t-shirt jersey.

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